So, then, exactly why was I not teaching? I could no longer give the same answers as they had become limp rags of no use to me at all! A new resolve had been conceived within me; waking dreams from their lingering slumber to arise and be born with passion. I took the challenge head on and enrolled in a Master's Degree program in Elementary Education and resigned from the prison to which I had enslaved myself with excuses based on monetary values alone. I realized I was at a crossroads in life; one which would always lie behind me no matter which path I chose. It was time to turn now - or never! I heard once that "risk must be evaluated not by the probability of your success -but by the value of the goal. There were two risks. On the one hand, I risked losing the apparent security of a decent paycheck if I chose to reach for the golden ring and pursue my passion. On the other hand, I risked losing perhaps my last chance at fulfilling my life's purpose - and my opportunity to leave behind a legacy in the lives of a few hundred children! The biggest question loomed over me - which decision would leave me with the least regret? Once I saw the issue from this light the answer was easy.................. I took the turn in the road - and I am already thankful I did!
I am half-way through my degree program, with only three courses and student-teaching left to go. I am not getting paid a dime currently - instead I am paying to do what I love. The course work is challenging and causes new sprouts of growth to spring forth in every direction. Old ideas mix with new information, slowly working together to create my future classroom. Every single practicum experience is a joy and treasure. I just finished working with first graders and their good-bye hugs said it all to me. I had somehow touched their lives in just four short weeks - they were glad to hear I would be able to substitute soon :) There are times I wonder how we are going to make it financially through the next month. But, God has continued to provide our daily bread quite faithfully - and sometimes in the most unexpected ways. I think had I chosen to stay on the same path I would always be looking back, straining to see if the crossroad was yet within my sight. How glad I am that I chose that path from which I never even feel an urge to peek behind me to see that old familiar road which I left behind!
And, that influence...................well, it keeps coming around just like the itsy bitsy spider.............my oldest son has now returned to college in order to have a career he enjoys rather than working for a living.........and my granddaughters are now making college plans of their own (three of them are in high school). Let's keep making a difference in the lives of our precious children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, that little next-door neighbor - whomever --- you just never know what effect they will in turn have on you!!